


Only eddie. (a reddie oneshot)

by Dizzy1967



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Richie Tozier, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, No Beta, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Soft Eddie Kaspbrak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 00:37:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21498979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dizzy1967/pseuds/Dizzy1967
Summary: richies got more feelings than he knows what to do with. feelings that he fears will mess everything up if they get out.this is a oneshot. not a complete, organized, professional fic.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 5
Kudos: 181





	Only eddie. (a reddie oneshot)

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoy! 
> 
> if you're offended by homophobic slurs and attitudes turn back now!

Eddie’s hand is resting against Richie’s forehead, Holding dark curls out of the way as he wipes a gash clean.

Bill, Mike, Ben, Beverly and Stan were all glancing around, keeping an eye out for Bowers and his stooges.

Eddie had cleaned each one of them up and Richie felt the dread boil up in his gut as it got closer and closer to his turn.

“I can take care of myself eds!” He’d said. Eddie had none of it. “Richie. You’re bleeding from your head and who knows what’s in that water. Sit down and let me do it, you won’t get it all clean because you can’t see it.” His words came out a mile a minute and it made Richie’s heart swell but his gut sink.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want Eddie to touch him. He did. But… That was the problem.

He was desperate for Eddie’s hands. His touch. The warmth of something else against his skin besides clothes.

He wanted to be touched.. to have someone hold him, kiss him. Richie shuddered at the thought of how it would feel to have Eddie’s soft lips against his neck.

“Did that hurt?”

Eddie’s voice snapped him back into the present, his cheeks flushing with shame at his own thoughts.

“just a bit” he lied.

“sorry. I’ll be more careful” Eddie’s voice was as gentle as the hand that he pressed against Richie’s cheek, guiding his gaze towards the left.

Richie did all he could to avoid leaning into it.

Eddie’s fingers drifted down his jaw and settled on his neck as he dabbed at Richie’s hairline.

Richie felt his heart rate double and his eyes flutter. Fuck you, Eddie… but mostly fuck me. Thoughts again started swirling around, thoughts of Eddie’s hand slipping into the collar of his shirt, Eddie kissing him.

He would probably taste like Pepsi and whatever the hell was in his inhaler.. chapstick too… The cherry kind.

Then Eddie’s hands would be under Richie’s shirt, his lips on his neck. Sucking marks into his skin that would make his ‘im not a virgin’ jokes a reality. Eddie would sit in his lap and Richie would… Oh fuck.. Richie would just hold him. Run his hands over his stupidly perfect thighs, the ones he always had on show because he didn’t know how much Richie ached to touch him..

He seemed to come back to himself then. Aware that his train of thought was wrong..

His gut boiled again. Still with dread… But now a shit ton of shame as well.

He shouldn’t think like that. He… He can’t want that.

'don't do this to yourself rich. Don’t want it. Don’t want HIM’

Eddie slung a leg over Richie’s lap and rich screwed his eyes shut.

'don't think of other boys like that. Only sick boys think like that. Want that. Perverted boys. Faggot boys.’

“all done- hey, you.. you good?” Eddie softened when he saw Richie’s face, red and twisted up into an expression of discomfort.

Richie nods. Still keeping his eyes closed and head turned away from Eddie. Because he was still trapped between his thighs.

“head just hurts” he lies.

Eddie stands and Richie feels an unbearable ache at the loss of contact.

'don't reach out. Don’t touch other boys.’

He’d done that once. It was a mistake.

At the arcade there was a boy, he’d come up to rich.. asked what he was playing, asked if he could play, lost.. repeatedly.. got angry.

'adorably angry’

'shut up!’

So rich had moved closer, grabbing his hand to try and show him what controls would win him the game. He was just caught up in the moment.. he wanted to help.

'you wanted to be closer too. You looked and you liked what you saw so you wanted to be closer’

But the boy recoiled, stepping away from him and the game with a look Richie couldn’t get out of his head.

Absolute fucking disgust. He was disgusted with him. Richie could’ve been impaled by a rampaging bull just then and the boy probably would’ve spit on him. Leaving him laying on the floor, guts pooling out.

He couldn’t bear it if Eddie looked at him that way. If any of the losers looked at him that way. Saw him for the disgusting thing he was..

He felt sick all of sudden.

Aching and sick.

“hey.. cool we won the rock war and all but.. I gotta go” he said, trying to sound casual.

Both Eddie and bill looked at him raising an eyebrow.

“you alright? If it’s your head maybe we should take you to the hos-”

Richie cut Eddie off, waving his hand. “Nah, you fixed me up nice and proper doc!” Rich chirped in an English accent.

Bill scowled. “You s-sh-sure? You d-do l-l-look a li-little pa-p-p-hale” he said.

Richie got up and started for his house as he spoke “alls swell! Just gotta git mah edumacation” he mimicked a hillbilly now.

All but eds let him off with the excuse. Bidding him goodbye.

Eddie watched with an expression that made Richie’s skin crawl as he rushed up and homeward.

🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Richie had been laying in his bed for about an hour. His head pounding. Thoughts flying back and forth between fantasy’s of him and eds, and absolute disgust with himself.

A knock on his window made him jump and he sat up quickly, looking over he was even more baffled to see eds.. scowling.

He got up quickly, unlocking his window and helping Eddie climb through.

“what the fuck is your problem? We win a fight with Bowers, go to celebrate with soda and snacks In the barrens and halfway there you fucking bail?” Eddie talks as fast as always, “you ditch us to go do 'homework’? And now I come to check on you, make sure your okay and I find you laying in bed like a lazy ass! We won against Bowers! I wanted to celebrate with you!”

Richie looks down. A fresh wave of guilt setting like a suffocating blanket. He tried to keep the tears in his eyes from spilling over. Because he was Richie! Richie Tozier! Funny guy, man of a thousand voices, boy of a million jokes! He didn’t cry!

But shit.. he did.. he was. Hot tears trailed down his cheeks, making his face burn with humiliation. “Sorry Ed’s… Next time for sure” he said.

Eddie faltered. Staring at him. “…i-… Rich i-i didn’t mean… Don’t cry” he quickly made his way over, dropping down beside Richie on his bed.

Richie shoved his glasses up his nose and tried to laugh. It came out strangled, watery and pathetic.

“not you Ed’s.” He said.

Eddie’s hands grasped Richie’s cheeks, wiping the tears away with his thumbs and tilting his head up.

“what’s wrong then? You’re kinda scaring me. First leaving us to lay in bed and now crying? Geez, rich somethings got you knotted up bad.” Eddie said.

Richie felt sick all over again. Shameful and guilty.

Before he could stop himself he was leaning into Eddie’s hands, grabbing his wrists and crying a bit harder.

'don't touch him, Richie. Don’t touch other boys’

God his head hurt.

“hey.. c'mon. Please tell me”

Rich shook his head. “No. No no no no” his voice was thick.

“why not? You’re worrying me..”

Rich sobs harder forcing himself to pull away from Eddie, to let him go. “Can’t. Fuck eds I can’t”

Eddie scowled again and once again grabbed Richie’s face. “No. Tell me rich or I swear to God I’ll sit here all day. We’ll list everything until we get to it. Then I’ll make you talk… I’ll be an agressive therapist.” Eddie said.

Richie shook his head and Eddie grew more frustrated.

“fine… Guess I’ll list. Grades?” Eddie said looking at him closely.

“stop Ed’s”

“don’t call me that. Parents?”

“Eddie please.”

“money? Bowers?”

“Eddie-”

“is it someone in the losers club?”

Richie looked away and Eddie smirked.

“okay losers club. Is it Bev?”

“no. Eddie stop it.”

“Ben? Bill?”

“shut it”

“Stan?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it!”

“Mike? Did someone say something?”

Richie closes his eyes frowning. Nerves spiking up.

“is it me?” Eddie asked.

Richie shrunk.

“get out.” He said.

Eddie tensed. “Okay…me. what did I do?”

Richie gripped his bedsheets.

'it's not what you did. It’s what I do..what I want to do what I think of doing’

“did I say something?”

Richie kept quiet.

“…did my mom say something?”

He kept his head low.

“..if.. I know she can be terrible. I-if she called you a name. I know she does that. I’m sorry she calls you trash.. and faggot”

Richie flinches back at the name. It’s stupid but even in this context it hurts to hear eds say it.

Eddie’s eyes widen.

“did… did someone.. uh.. say something like that to you? In the losers club?” Eddie asks gently.

Richie shakes his head slowly. Because he’s so tired.. so tired and his head hurts. His chest hurts. His skin hurts. And even now, as Eddie creeps dangerously close to questions he shouldn’t ask because he really doesn’t want to know the answers. He wants Eddie to touch him again.

“…Richie..i-”

Fresh tears that burn like fire fall silently down his cheeks. Ed’s so close now. He’s right on the cuff of it. Of Richie’s problem.. Richie’s sickness.

'because it is a sickness. Only sick boys like other boys. Only sick boys want to touch other boys.’

“..is it.. is it because maybe uhm.. y-your a little bit.. shit… Uhm.. do you like?” Eddie looked at him.

Richie covered his mouth.

'bullseye motherfucker. You win eighty grand!! Right in the money!!!’

His eyes closed tightly. Face burning with shame and trembling sobs shaking his chest.

Eddie stared at him and carefully.. oh so carefully. Finally just asked “…is it because you like boys Rich?” He asked softly.

Richie wanted to die. Wished he was dead. Wished that whatever was killing all the other kids, had gotten him too. Instead, he waited.. waited for Eddie to leave. To go tell the other losers what a fucking creep he was. 'yea.. turns out Bowers was actually right for once. Tozier really does suck cock.’

Instead, Eddie’s arms hooked over his shoulders. Jerking him roughly into the smaller boys chest.

“..it’s okay y'know.. i-i won’t tell… If you don’t want. The losers won’t care though…”

Richie really fucking lost it then. Wrapping himself around Eddie and sobbing into his pink shirt.

“a-and we’re still friends. If I’m completely honest… I think.. I always knew.. at least a little bit. Because.. you always look.. Uhm… At me. But not like you look at mike or Stan.. i-its like.. how ben looks at Beverly…” Eddie says. He’s rubbing circles into Richie’s back, and Richie doesn’t know if it’s on purpose or just because Eddie’s thinking.. all he knows is.. Ed’s still liked him.. still wants to be friends and according to him, the rest of the losers may want that too. Dread is still in his gut, along with embarrassment because he’s only now learning that Eddie had noticed.. he’d noticed Richie watching him, looking at him with nothing but love. Too much love. He also knows that if Eddie stops rubbing his back he may have a mental breakdown.

“..’m so sorry… I-.. I didn’t mean to look” Richie finally said. Still clutching Eddie’s shirt.

Eddie is quiet for a moment.

“…if I had cared.. I would’ve told you to stop… I…I actually uhm.. liked it.”

Richie’s heart stopped, his eyes widening. 'i actually liked it’

His heart restarted and went double time when he felt Eddie press his lips against his head in a soft kiss.

Richie looked up slowly. “Ed’s…i-”

Eddie was red but kept his gaze even with Richie’s.

“if.. if your just... fuck… Eddie” Richie breathes. His thoughts were jumbled.

Eddie likes it? Likes me? He kissed me.. what’s that mean?

“..a-are you.. uhm.. me?” Richie stuttered.

Eddie smiled. “Yeah.. is that.. okay?”

Richie nods slowly, a smile pulling at his lips.

Eddie moves forward again, placing a kiss on Richie’s forehead and another on his nose.

“th-that's not my mouth kaspbrak.” He said. It was meant as a joke. A playful shove to distract Richie from his pounding heart and burning face. But then Eddie was kissing him.

On the lips.

And fuck it was so good, Eddie’s soft lips were warm and fit perfectly against his.

It was a moment before Richie realized his eyes were still open, quickly he closed them and allowed a hand to move to eds cheek.

Eddie pulled back looking at Richie, face Scarlet and smiling like he was trying desperately not too.

Richie licked his lips, smiling when he tasted cherry.

“now you have cooties" Richie said softly. Struggling to keep himself together. He was giddy, he wanted to kiss him again, to scream and shout and dance. To tell everyone 'I KISSED EDDIE SPAGHETTI THE LOVE OF LIFE!!’ bad idea obviously, so he settled for pulling Eddie into a tight hug.

'don't touch other boys.’

'only Eddie’


End file.
